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If you are not being authentic, so showing up as you and being emotionally honest in your own inner relationship never mind with your partner, you will have a lot of the hallmarks of an intimate relationship without the intimacy.

Had you taken to pussyfooting around the No Fly Zone topics?Had you initially been able to open up but then subconsciously (or possibly quite consciously), taken a step back and closed up somewhat because of the lack of response you were getting or not wanting to rock the boat?We can have intimate moments with people, we can share intimate pieces of information, but that doesn’t mean that we’re experiencing the intimacy that many of us actually desire in our relationships.This misunderstanding of intimacy is why many people wake up in relationships where they feel quite attached to somebody and feel as if they have “so much in common” but they’re hungry and either not going in the same direction or feeling an ever-growing void emerging. When we don’t truly understand what intimacy is, an imbalance will exist in the relationship because one person leads and one person takes their cues – the whole driver and passenger issue that permeates every unhealthy and struggling relationship.And you’d be shocked at the amount of people who feel a connection and “so much in common” who recognise on reflection that they may have ‘known’ a person but they didn’t truly know them. These relationships can leave you feeling lonely due to the lack of deep emotional connection as well as feeling adrift from your core self, even though you might now know what that is due to always playing roles. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

We need to change the way that we think about intimacy. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.We’ll think that letting the other person direct and even feeling excessively emotionally reliant on them to feel worthwhile and purposeful, is intimacy when it isn’t; it’s faux intimacy.Here’s the truth: A lot of us can talk about and do a lot of things.After spending over 100 hours testing 18 routers, we think the Netgear R7000P is the best wireless router for most people.It’s fast and reliable at both short and long ranges, it balances the demands of connected devices automatically to avoid congestion, and it works well right out of the box, with no arcane tweaking required.It’s that that you being you is going to be “wrong” and that you won’t be able to cope with their response that you’ve predicted or with your own feelings and thoughts.