Somehow I made the appointment and very slowly my story unfolded.I told her about my best friend’s family that I had become very close to at a young age.We often talk about the intrusive thoughts of postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD here on Postpartum Progress, things like envisioning dropping your baby down the stairs, or much worse. -Katherine]I was the expectant mother who read everything she could get her hands on about her unborn child.
My pregnancy was a breeze, and I felt proud of delivering a healthy 8-pound, 13-ounce baby girl “J.”The first couple of months went as well as you could expect with a new infant.I was enjoying being a new mother and breastfeeding was going well, but J had a lot of gas and she wouldn’t nap due to acid reflux.Emotionally I was already teetering, and then I had my first intrusive thought three months after my daughter was born. I was changing her diaper and a horrible thought of molesting my daughter flashed through my mind.I spent the next few days trying to understand why I would think such a thing.A normal mother would never think something like that.
I thought that something was terribly wrong with me because only a terrible person who belonged behind bars would ever think of something that horrible.I joined playgroups and a local church, anything to stay busy, but being around other “normal” moms made me feel worse. Calling to make an appointment with a therapist was difficult.What would they think if they knew the kind of thoughts I had? I was afraid that if I told her what I had thought that someone would take my baby away.It is important to know you are not alone, and you can get help.]Katherine Stone is the founder of Postpartum Progress.She has been named a Web MD Health Hero, one of the fiercest women in America by More magazine, and one of the top 20 Social Media Moms by Working Mother magazine. Postpartum Progress exists to provide peer-to-peer support.I started to notice a difference about a month later, and it got me over the hump. Yoga and meditation practice have also been helpful in my recovery. I am still having productive therapy sessions and the intrusive thoughts are much less frequent and bothersome.