I thought that since I was an attractive, fit, well-educated, financially and emotionally secure guy that I would have no problem finding a woman in her mid 30s to settle down with and start a family.
I have tried a combination of online dating, speed dating, professional singles events, volunteering, happy hours etc. I thought that online dating would be great since you are essentially pre-screening people for dates.
I have found that I get no responses from any women online and the only women who respond to my ad are usually much older and don’t meet any of my criteria outlined in my profile.
I am told that women want to settle down and have kids, etc., but their actions seem to be to the contrary.
Any advice on how to navigate these new paradigms in the dating world? And to directly address your email, I have to divide my response into two different parts: 1) What You’re Getting Right and 2) What You’re Missing. We’ve addressed this before, from an older man who couldn’t possibly fathom why a younger woman wouldn’t want to be with him. We can complain that the opposite sex is unrealistic and passing up great opportunities – and we’d be right – but it doesn’t change that people want what they want. They, too, have a lot of dating options, are busy building their careers, and don’t have a clear urgency to settle down. Theoretically, this is when want to have time before becoming dads.
Thus, their target market remains women, 27-34 – who may not be ready to settle down quite yet.
Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.
I find the latter hard to believe, but find this mantra in every profile of every professional woman online. What you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want. The problem is that many women from 27-34 are independent professionals just like their male peers.I commented in parentheses throughout the profiles below what I thought of them and why: I gave this profile a passing grade because while it’s not great, nothing about it makes it terrible.“I have been in the ——- area for a few years now and always looking to meet new people. I enjoy meeting new people and going to new places.(This first sentence says nothing eye-catching about the woman and is very bland, and boring). (still, nothing thought provoking or attractive) I am very spontaneous and I love the outdoors, watching movies, dancing, and traveling. (Finally something somewhat interesting that she says about herself).(Another cliché statement that is being used by thousands of other women) A great date can be staying at home with a movie and popcorn, or a night on the town. I made myself a promise a few years ago to take a vacation somewhere new, out of state, every year. Well, that is a little about me if you are interested say hello and we will chat. ” *********************** This profile gets a higher grade because it reflects on the writer’s character and her personality.(Great, thought provoking opener that shows a woman’s engaging personality. I am not offended by a dirty joke and can dish out one of my own. “I don’t know if the world is going to run forever, but I know I’m not going to be around forever!