After all, many of us know someone who punches above his or her weight class, dating people who they – by all rights – should have based on the flawed idea that the only thing that people value is looks.Whenever we see someone who isn’t conventionally attractive dating somebody who is more attractive we often dismiss the relationship as somehow invalid; clearly he has money, or a high-status job or some other external quality that the more attractive partner desires enough that she is willing to put up with having to toss the cave troll a handy every now and then.
Women go gaga for Matt Smith and Arthur Davil and Benedict Cumberbatch..Nobody’s denying that someone who’s conventionally attractive is going to have a leg up on getting a leg over. We don’t just date people’s faces or torsos – not for very long, in any case. Looks, no matter how spectacular, eventually become part of the status quo; as Billy Bob Thornton (no model, he) once said about being married to Angelina Jolie, eventually “it’s like fucking the couch.” Like I said earlier, when we see someone dating somebody who’s supposedly “out of their league”, our default assumption is that it’s that the uglier of the two is rich; Anna-Nicole Smith marrying octogenarian billionaire J.It’s a self-reinforcing story; we don’t accept the idea that someone who looks like Lena Dunham could score with a guy who looks like Patrick Wilson because we never see it in the media.We never see it in the media because nobody accepts the idea that it could happen and so like an oroborous with an eating disorder, the cycle perpetuates itself.Amazingly enough in the real world, models variable and influenced by a ginormous number of factors including personal preferences, cultural upbringing, social class, even ecology.
The archetypal good-looking modern man, for example, is depicted as having a long, lean swimmer’s build and lacking nearly frame was the ideal; body weight was often a class-marker, as the indolent upper class was able to eat richer foods, while the peasants toiled at manual labor (and, ironically, ate a more nutritionally sound diet).
We associate good looks with talent, which is why everyone is so shocked and amazed that a frumpy woman like Susan Boyle can sing like an angel.
The emphasis on physical beauty even over talent (see: most boy bands, idol singers, 99% of the winners of American Idol) means that most celebrities tend to be sexier than the average bear.
They work well with each other because they can understand the realities of what that relationship is going to mean.
We’re a culture that places inordinate value on physical beauty.
So while I may be a little behind the pop-culture curve, there are certain issues that I find fascinating from an outsider’s perspective.