One man I spoke with, now divorced, took Scott Hahn’s Christian marriage class with his theology-major fiancée.
Therefore this was not a valid marriage.” “As soon as you even talk about divorce as if it’s an option, you’ve taken your first step,” Patricia, an abandoned mother of five, told me.
Still, the black cloud can be dispelled even at this stage, and often is, if the couple looks into the horrible consequences of divorce and decides they just won’t go there. Until someone calls a lawyer.“All it takes is one confused spouse who thinks that divorce will solve their unhappiness,” said Michelle Gauthier, founder of Defending Holy Matrimony.
The president of a Catholic college known for its fidelity guessed that about 5 percent of the marriages of its alums end in divorce. Bible study is just not doing it.”Catholics can sometimes convince themselves that they aren’t part of the same culture as the rest of the world. Worse, a self-righteous faith can lull Catholics into a false sense of security, a new Phariseeism convinced that intellectual assent to the right doctrines — not our humility and God’s mercy — is what saves us.“They think they know everything there is to know about marriage,” said Father Brunetta, “and when they get there and discover it’s not what they expected, they don’t know what to do.
Whatever the number is, it looks awfully high to Catholics who see their friends splitting up. “When I saw the Catholic marriages in this country that are hurting, I wasn’t shocked — I was saddened. But we’re all part of the culture of immediate gratification that doesn’t consider long-term consequences. Most of us have easily dropped relationships, even family ones, to pursue careers and comforts. Shouldn’t faith steel the assenting Catholic against the culture? If we think the answer to the real day-to-day problems of our marriage is going to be found in a paragraph of Andie was a theology major, but it was Doug’s communications major that led him to full-time Catholic work later in life.
'”Father Brunetta said that for many couples, “an overly intellectual approach diminishes the mystery that marriage is supposed to be.
Before I got ordained I had a certain sense of what it was to be a priest. If we’ve got it all figured out ahead of time, we might end up fighting against what our married life is teaching us.”But then it became something else.
It is truly a tragedy.”One abandoned mother called me after getting a particularly offensive note from a court representative.
“I get the feeling that there is this perverse patronizing that’s going on here,” she said.
Catholic couples “think that if you’re punching your time clock, doing your duties to your faith, God promises to take care of your marriage.
But your marriage has a life of its own, and if you don’t do something about it, it’s going to fester and it’s going to explode.”“Nobody can escape the fact that you only know what you grew up with — even if you have Catholic faith.
The grave sin of divorce infects everybody around it.