It’s a mentality of “this bitch owes me” and he’s speaking from the Victim position. That being said, if your separated man was unfaithful in his marriage, you need to proceed very slowly and spend extra time assessing his character, behavior, and moral code.
Two important warning signs to watch for are self-justification and blaming.
Whatever the case may be, these kinds of circumstances are extremely stressful for him, which will inevitably ripple into your relationship together in some way(s).
.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes with a host of issues and complications that spell drama, stress and heartache to a woman.
The bottom line is that going through a divorce requires a lot of him – he must grieve, heal, hash through legalities, potentially adjust to single parenting and financial limitations, as well as rediscover a new sense of who he is today.
The thing about anger is that it uses up a lot of energy and space in your separated man’s brain and heart.
That’s energy and space that he can’t and won’t channel into you in positive ways. He doesn’t consistently spend time with his children.
The best part about being divorced after a short marriage is being single again at 35. When my marriage ended after just two years, the idea of navigating the dating world all over again seemed daunting, unappealing, and pointless.
Plus, the last time I'd been seriously single, it was 2006; texting was barely a given, much less Tinder.
If you chose to proceed in dating him, I caution you to proceed slowly and with eyes wide open. Comments like, “Bah, I just want it over,” or “Doesn’t matter, we’ve been strangers for years,” may seem casual, even confident — but they also mask what’s going on underneath and behind the scenes.
When a man has truly processed his divorce and moved on, he should be able to speak to it with compassion, kindness, and wisdom.
For the number of men who claim to be destitute and “victims of an unfair legal system”, you’d think there’d be a line-up of trucks parked by the Bow River with separated dads living out of them.
Please, before you buy into his tale of woe, veer on the skeptical side.
You also end up keeping company with someone who is aloof, moody, defensive and/or crabby. If your separated man isn’t seeing much of his kids, this should be seen as a warning, not a “bonus” (cause it’s more time spent with you, right? One reason he’s not parenting could be because he and his wife are disagreeing over child custody and access.