Keep communication open with your children and reassure them that you’re not looking for a replacement for dad.Instead, let them know that mom has a lot of love to give and that adults have a different kind of love that’s currently missing from your life.
A child who feels as though mom’s boyfriend is the “enemy” will have a more difficult time adjusting long term. If your new guy has discussed an interest in meeting your children or expressed a desire to blend your families, it’s a sure sign he’s ready.
But a child who feels like mom’s boyfriend adds something positive to the mix will be more likely to warm up and ultimately cultivate a healthy relationship. This should make YOU feel ready to introduce him to your kids as well; a partner who’s ready and willing to meet and accept all of you (kids included) is someone you’re going to want to keep around.
As an educator, Mary Jayne brings multi-dimensional wellness and fitness experiences along with a welcoming and genuine teaching style to inspire students and wellness enthusiasts of all ages.
I went out with a girlfriend in Montclair, NJ, to a fun place called Just Jakes. It was a little deceiving, sure, but I thought telling the guys I was a single mom would influence their answers—and I wanted raw thoughts.
Don’t ever bring your kids on a date — even if he agrees to meet you at the park because your schedule is “so busy.” A better choice?
If you and your guy are in a relationship that lasts past the three-month mark and are making the commitment to be exclusive, begin to slowly introduce him to your kids.
As you read through these suggestions, remember that children come in all ages and some may not even live at home.
The tips below will help you thread your way through some of the intricacies of dating a single parent. Ask yourself: Am I willing to be in a relationship with someone who has children? Am I willing to enter into a relationship with children?
It will save everyone a lot of angst if you simply ask your date and openly discuss how you can help make this a positive experience for all concerned. This may sound like a covert operation, but if you find you are uncomfortable with or disapproving of these things, this may not be a situation that is compatible for you. Everyone will feel much more at ease when the new person in mommy or daddy’s life is kind, sincere, and genuinely caring. They may worry that dad or mom doesn’t love them as much as before or that they are lacking in some way. Once you have managed to thread your way through some of these obstacles that are inherent when dating a single parent, relax and enjoy the experience.
Depending on their background, kids may be fearful of a newcomer in their midst. Simply understand these feelings may exist and that it is not about you. Children can add a lot of delight and gratification to a relationship.
You can even introduce him as your friend rather than your boyfriend at first and then let him slowly get to know your kids (and you in the role of mother).